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The charm of different forms of English



Some WAISers have scolded me because I promote clarity of speech and fight the confusion caused by "dialects". Well, take this:

"TENDJEWBERRYMUD "

Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation. Read aloud for best results. Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. This has been nominated for best email of 1999.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees".

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service".

RS: "Rye. Ruin sorbees. Morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??"

G: "Uh,yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs".

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"

G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS: "Hokay. An san toes?"

G: "What?"

RS: "San toes. July san toes?"

G: "I don't think so".

RS: "No? Judo one toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bother?"

G: "No, just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"

G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say"

RS: "Tendjewberrymud"

G : "You're welcome"

Jenny Church & Curt Borchardt, Innkeepers
Trail's End Inn
HC1 Box 103
Keene Valley, NY 12943
518-576-9860
http://www.trailsendinn.com

Ronald Hilton - 10/18/01


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