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The charm of different forms of English
Some WAISers have scolded me because I promote clarity of speech and fight the confusion caused by "dialects". Well, take this:
Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation. Read aloud for best results. Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. This has been nominated for best email of 1999.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.
Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees".
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service".
RS: "Rye. Ruin sorbees. Morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh,yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs".
RS: "Ow July den?"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An san toes?"
RS: "San toes. July san toes?"
G: "I don't think so".
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No, just put the bother on the side."
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say"
G : "You're welcome"
Jenny Church & Curt Borchardt, Innkeepers
Trail's End Inn
HC1 Box 103
Keene Valley, NY 12943
Ronald Hilton - 10/18/01